Wednesday, July 22, 2009

And Now For Something Completely Different

If there is one thing that I am really looking forward to when I get home, it is outlets and electricity that works with the electronics we own. Now, this isn't because of the laptop, or the fact that I have to wiggle the cord for the camera charger for 5 minutes before it will work converter we have, or even that I can't charge the Gameboy. It's because I can't charge my razor. Normally, I shave my head and trim my beard once a week. Because I haven't been able to charge my razor, I have only been able to shave my head a couple times, so my hair (or lack thereof) has been OK. It will be a little dumb looking by the time I get back. But my beard is a different story. I don't think I have been able to trim it at all.

I feel like Grizzly Adams' bear.

I actually saw Chuck Norris on the street the other day, and he got one look at my beard and backed up, put his hands in the air, and said “Hey man, I don't want any trouble”.

On 11 separate occasions, I have woken up to Orlando Bloom rifling through my beard in search of a key for Davey Jones locker.


The ghost of Billy Mays came to me one night and thanked me for keeping his legacy alive via facial hair. Too soon?

I was approached by ZZ Top for a position in their band. I told them I didn't play an instrument, and they said it wasn't important. I just needed to stand there and look beard-y.

Do I keep going? Yes, I think I do...

Rip van Winkle asked me in amazement how many years I had been asleep for.

Have you seen the picture of Saddam Hussein after they found him?

Papa Smurf. Minus the hat. Plus a shirt.

I was asked to play Hagrid's stunt double in the final Harry Potter film. I told them that I didn't know how to act and I was probably a little short, and they said it wasn't important. I just needed to stand there and look beard-y.

Fortunately it has come in handy though, and I have been able to find a new occupation in Europe. Alice took a video of this with the Flip. I'm the guy at the end hitting the triangle.


  1. Talk is cheap, Oh Scruffy One! Show us what you look like and we will judge your condition. Could it be that you are really liking the new look and you are "protesting too much" to simply avoid peer pressure to resume your former look? Has Alice fallen in love with the new you? Is she likely to?

    You will know that you've gone too far when security won't let you board your return flight because you don't look like your passport photo - or worse, they mistake you for one of those people who get the "special" treatment - you know the ZZ group. (Don't drop RJD's name at the airport because it won't help you a bit; it certainly doesn't help him. Just make sure you are either wearing clean underwear, or none at all).

    Enjoy Basle. (UF)

  2. You know, I hear Santa is looking to retire. Fortunately, the only job requirements are a hearty chuckle and to sit in a big chair at various malls looking beard-y.

  3. Alice and Chris - I miss you too! I received my post card/picture appears as though Chris has overcome his shyness at some point along in your travels. HoooRaaa!!!

    Chris: I'm glad to see you are finally able to embrace the features God has blessed you with. It also appears as though the your European electrical converter for your electric shaver has worked like a gem....or actually, taking a closer look, this appears to be a very smooth shave....did you visit an Italian barbershop or did you take part in the new German waxing rage?

    Love and kisses...Sara

  4. Brendan just watched the he is saying "animal"....and asking for it to be played more....thanks for the babysitter!!!!

    PS: Please ship 1 animal piano to Brendan.

    Brendans note:
    hdxcvc cf hg ftu[[nbv,o0op bb€
    um,i j.,j.,j,.i.iif kkkkujrfwsdcbd,bbbbbb

    Sara and Brendan$/.